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Too Many Bosses
Title: Too Many Bosses
Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency + Stardust Crusaders + Diamond Is Unbreakable + Vento Aureo + Stone Ocean + Steel Ball Run
Character(s): Diavolo, Pucci, Kira, Doppio, Kars, Valentine, Dio
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 600
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: An evening in the JoJo villain house.
Notes: ASB fic. The fluffiest fluff to fluff.
“Just yesterday,” says Diavolo, leaning over the back of the couch Pucci is on, “I saw one of your mesh shirts being sold for nearly six hundred euro. Six hundred! Do you think I’m made of money?”
Pucci sighs. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times that I have nothing to do with the fashion label. The name is only a coincidence. Besides, you’re head of a gang, money should be the least of your problems.”
Diavolo snorts. “Just because I have some money doesn’t mean I don’t have to be wasteful with it. If you- I’ll continue this conversation later.”
Pucci doesn’t get a chance to respond before Diavolo is shrinking back into Doppio, who takes a moment to acclimate himself to the surroundings. The annoyance that had sent him off appears in the form of Kira from the doorway, who nods politely at Pucci and moves to take Doppio’s hand. “It’s a pleasure-”
“Any limbs that touch me, you’re going to lose.” Doppio brings both hands to his chest and glares.
Kira backs off. “Dio called a few minutes ago.”
Pucci’s ears perk. “What did he say?” he asks.
“Nothing interesting. He’s bringing back dinner along with groceries and everyone’s getting the usual from McDonald’s. Hamburgers as rare as they can make them for Kars, angus burger for Valentine, fruit and walnuts salad for you, chicken for Diavolo, fish filet for me, and as many servings of fries and ketchup as is humanly possible.” Kira pauses. “Well, you know what I mean.”
Kars turns his head from the television at the mention of food. “How many hamburgers?”
“Four.”
“Acceptable.” He returns his attention to the television, where Valentine has just thrown a blue shell at him in first place. “How dare you?” he asks, grimacing as his kart is blown up and Valentine’s kart passes him.
Valentine smirks. “If you don’t like the game, then don’t play.”
“Never. I won’t stop until I can destroy you on the track!”
Doppio sits down beside the two to watch them play. “Kars, you’re losing because you’re drifting too much to the sides, the middle is the fastest time.”
“Giving him advice gives him an unfair advantage,” says Valentine.
“Don’t you want to play against a worthy opponent instead of just crushing him?” asks Doppio. “Or you could play against me, I’m pretty good at this game.”
Valentine scowls. Pucci suspects he’s remembering their last tournament, where Doppio had come out soundly the victor. Dio had wanted to let an underling play in his place, arguing that Doppio replacing Diavolo was the same thing, but in the end D’Arby had only been allowed to sit on the sidelines and cheer for Dio.
“I think I’ll continue crushing him instead,” says Valentine. “--Not a blue shell!”
“If you don’t like the game,” says Kars triumphantly, “then don’t play.”
The doorbell rings.
“Which of you will help Dio bring in groceries?” asks Pucci, rising from the couch.
Doppio also stands and heads for the door. The others look disinterested. Pucci sighs and doesn’t bother to try to convince them.
At the door, Dio is carrying as many heavy bags of groceries as he can balance without dropping, which is two: a juggler he is not. Pucci takes one from his arms. “Welcome back.”
Dio flashes him a smile of sharp teeth. “That bag has your favorite kind of tart. Don’t let the others know and just hide them in our room,” he says. “It’ll be our secret.”
“You spoil me.” Still, Pucci can’t help but smile wider in return.
Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency + Stardust Crusaders + Diamond Is Unbreakable + Vento Aureo + Stone Ocean + Steel Ball Run
Character(s): Diavolo, Pucci, Kira, Doppio, Kars, Valentine, Dio
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 600
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: An evening in the JoJo villain house.
Notes: ASB fic. The fluffiest fluff to fluff.
“Just yesterday,” says Diavolo, leaning over the back of the couch Pucci is on, “I saw one of your mesh shirts being sold for nearly six hundred euro. Six hundred! Do you think I’m made of money?”
Pucci sighs. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times that I have nothing to do with the fashion label. The name is only a coincidence. Besides, you’re head of a gang, money should be the least of your problems.”
Diavolo snorts. “Just because I have some money doesn’t mean I don’t have to be wasteful with it. If you- I’ll continue this conversation later.”
Pucci doesn’t get a chance to respond before Diavolo is shrinking back into Doppio, who takes a moment to acclimate himself to the surroundings. The annoyance that had sent him off appears in the form of Kira from the doorway, who nods politely at Pucci and moves to take Doppio’s hand. “It’s a pleasure-”
“Any limbs that touch me, you’re going to lose.” Doppio brings both hands to his chest and glares.
Kira backs off. “Dio called a few minutes ago.”
Pucci’s ears perk. “What did he say?” he asks.
“Nothing interesting. He’s bringing back dinner along with groceries and everyone’s getting the usual from McDonald’s. Hamburgers as rare as they can make them for Kars, angus burger for Valentine, fruit and walnuts salad for you, chicken for Diavolo, fish filet for me, and as many servings of fries and ketchup as is humanly possible.” Kira pauses. “Well, you know what I mean.”
Kars turns his head from the television at the mention of food. “How many hamburgers?”
“Four.”
“Acceptable.” He returns his attention to the television, where Valentine has just thrown a blue shell at him in first place. “How dare you?” he asks, grimacing as his kart is blown up and Valentine’s kart passes him.
Valentine smirks. “If you don’t like the game, then don’t play.”
“Never. I won’t stop until I can destroy you on the track!”
Doppio sits down beside the two to watch them play. “Kars, you’re losing because you’re drifting too much to the sides, the middle is the fastest time.”
“Giving him advice gives him an unfair advantage,” says Valentine.
“Don’t you want to play against a worthy opponent instead of just crushing him?” asks Doppio. “Or you could play against me, I’m pretty good at this game.”
Valentine scowls. Pucci suspects he’s remembering their last tournament, where Doppio had come out soundly the victor. Dio had wanted to let an underling play in his place, arguing that Doppio replacing Diavolo was the same thing, but in the end D’Arby had only been allowed to sit on the sidelines and cheer for Dio.
“I think I’ll continue crushing him instead,” says Valentine. “--Not a blue shell!”
“If you don’t like the game,” says Kars triumphantly, “then don’t play.”
The doorbell rings.
“Which of you will help Dio bring in groceries?” asks Pucci, rising from the couch.
Doppio also stands and heads for the door. The others look disinterested. Pucci sighs and doesn’t bother to try to convince them.
At the door, Dio is carrying as many heavy bags of groceries as he can balance without dropping, which is two: a juggler he is not. Pucci takes one from his arms. “Welcome back.”
Dio flashes him a smile of sharp teeth. “That bag has your favorite kind of tart. Don’t let the others know and just hide them in our room,” he says. “It’ll be our secret.”
“You spoil me.” Still, Pucci can’t help but smile wider in return.