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Entry tags:
respect what is you
Title: respect what is you
Fandom: Mogeko Castle
Character(s): Yonaka, OCs
Pairing(s): Yonaka/OCs
Genre: General
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Reference to Mogeko Castle
Summary: Yonaka didn’t escape Mogeko Castle to be told how quickly she should recover.
Notes: It's been a while since I've written for this fandom proper.
Yonaka sits on her boyfriend’s bed with her shirt half unbuttoned and says, “I’m not ready.”
Flashes of yellow are still at the back of her mind, nightmares that have never gone away, not really, seeming to fade away only to come back when she needs a peaceful sleep the most.
Her boyfriend says things like ‘but I really want to’ and ‘I’ll be gentle, promise’ and ‘you got me all worked up’.
Yonaka grits her teeth. “I said I’m not. Ready.” The word ‘but’ is on her boyfriend’s lips before she says, “If you push me any more we’re breaking up right here and now.”
Her boyfriend backs off, but she starts hearing things around the college about how she won’t put out, and she breaks up with that boyfriend anyway. It’s just as well.
Yonaka says to her girlfriend, “Stop.” She’s trembling.
Her girlfriend pulls her hand back, looking more puzzled than anything else.
“I thought I could do this now, but...” She shakes her head. “I can get you off, if you want.”
Her girlfriend says things like ‘it’s okay’ and ‘it wouldn’t be fair’ and ‘I’ll wait as long as you need’.
“Thank you.” She pecks her girlfriend’s lips. “Want to put our clothes back on and cuddle?”
That relationship doesn’t last long either, but she doesn’t think that the lack of sex was the reason. She hopes it wasn’t; she’d like to keep that girl as a friend.
With her romantic relationships, she’s honest now right at the beginning. “I probably won’t be able to have sex with you. It’s a thing with me, you really don’t want to hear the history. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, then we can’t have a relationship.”
A lot of people make excuses after that not to continue dating her. ‘We just don’t click’. ‘I don’t feel like this is the right relationship for me at this part of my life’. ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. A couple of them are honest: ‘I really can’t date someone I can’t have sex with’. She appreciates their candidness if nothing else and wishes them well.
The ones who pry and keep prying, or try to convince her that all she needs is a really good lay for her to change her mind, she glares at for a few seconds before standing up and leaving. It’s better than punching them in the face and causing a scene, even if it’s less satisfying.
Yonaka did not escape Mogeko Castle to be ruled by her fears and trauma. She can and will overcome everything that happened to her. But it will take a while.
In the meantime, she didn’t escape Mogeko Castle to be told how quickly she should recover, either. She won’t accept being told what she should do for other people, even when it hurts herself. She’s done hurting herself.
People who love her will accept that. People who don’t can go fuck themselves, because she’s not doing it for them.
Fandom: Mogeko Castle
Character(s): Yonaka, OCs
Pairing(s): Yonaka/OCs
Genre: General
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Reference to Mogeko Castle
Summary: Yonaka didn’t escape Mogeko Castle to be told how quickly she should recover.
Notes: It's been a while since I've written for this fandom proper.
Yonaka sits on her boyfriend’s bed with her shirt half unbuttoned and says, “I’m not ready.”
Flashes of yellow are still at the back of her mind, nightmares that have never gone away, not really, seeming to fade away only to come back when she needs a peaceful sleep the most.
Her boyfriend says things like ‘but I really want to’ and ‘I’ll be gentle, promise’ and ‘you got me all worked up’.
Yonaka grits her teeth. “I said I’m not. Ready.” The word ‘but’ is on her boyfriend’s lips before she says, “If you push me any more we’re breaking up right here and now.”
Her boyfriend backs off, but she starts hearing things around the college about how she won’t put out, and she breaks up with that boyfriend anyway. It’s just as well.
Yonaka says to her girlfriend, “Stop.” She’s trembling.
Her girlfriend pulls her hand back, looking more puzzled than anything else.
“I thought I could do this now, but...” She shakes her head. “I can get you off, if you want.”
Her girlfriend says things like ‘it’s okay’ and ‘it wouldn’t be fair’ and ‘I’ll wait as long as you need’.
“Thank you.” She pecks her girlfriend’s lips. “Want to put our clothes back on and cuddle?”
That relationship doesn’t last long either, but she doesn’t think that the lack of sex was the reason. She hopes it wasn’t; she’d like to keep that girl as a friend.
With her romantic relationships, she’s honest now right at the beginning. “I probably won’t be able to have sex with you. It’s a thing with me, you really don’t want to hear the history. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, then we can’t have a relationship.”
A lot of people make excuses after that not to continue dating her. ‘We just don’t click’. ‘I don’t feel like this is the right relationship for me at this part of my life’. ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. A couple of them are honest: ‘I really can’t date someone I can’t have sex with’. She appreciates their candidness if nothing else and wishes them well.
The ones who pry and keep prying, or try to convince her that all she needs is a really good lay for her to change her mind, she glares at for a few seconds before standing up and leaving. It’s better than punching them in the face and causing a scene, even if it’s less satisfying.
Yonaka did not escape Mogeko Castle to be ruled by her fears and trauma. She can and will overcome everything that happened to her. But it will take a while.
In the meantime, she didn’t escape Mogeko Castle to be told how quickly she should recover, either. She won’t accept being told what she should do for other people, even when it hurts herself. She’s done hurting herself.
People who love her will accept that. People who don’t can go fuck themselves, because she’s not doing it for them.