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Cosomopolitan
Title: Cosomopolitan
Fandom: Farethere City
Character(s): Helpa, Docta, Jamiga, Hiro, Jekyll, Michibiki
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 510
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: What are bars for if not to speculate about whether your mayor can have sex or not?
Notes: I'd like to apologize?
When Helpa and Docta walk into the bar, Jamiga is already deep in conversation with Hiro. Jekyll seems mildly annoyed, but that’s his default state, so what the other two are talking about is much more interesting.
“It’s not about whether he has legs or not,” Jamiga says. “It’s all about the pelvis~ Oh, hi there, Docta, Helpa. Take a seat!”
Docta sits down at the bar, with Helpa taking the seat beside him. “What are you two talking about?”
Hiro looks the tiniest bit embarrassed. Jekyll answers for him: “They’re trying to figure out if Michibiki can have sex or not.”
“Oh my.” Helpa giggles, as the line on Docta’s face turns pink from embarrassment. “And what have you decided?”
“Can’t figure it out,” Hiro says, looking away. “He’s got no legs, right? Nothin’ from the waist down. There’s no way he’s got the right parts.”
“I’m telling you, it’s not about the legs, it’s about the pelvis,” Jamiga says again. “His is right on the borderline! He could have one or he could not have one, who knows~”
“Hey, you’ve gotta have given him a checkup, right, Docta?” says Hiro. “So, you’ve gotta know for sure, right?”
“While that… would be true, he has never submitted to me for a checkup,” Docta says, probably trying to sound mild but only managing to sound nervous.
“You’re embarrassing the good doctor,” Helpa says, smiling wider. “But I hope he has the right equipment… regular sexual release is good for stress, and he works so hard for us. He deserves a little alone time.”
There’s a pause between all of them, before Jekyll says, “Maybe he has one but it’s not solid.”
“That’s even worse than not having one at all!” says Jamiga. “You’re so cruel.”
Jekyll scowls. “You’re the one who brought this stupid topic up in the first place!”
“Aaa, looks like everyone’s having a fun time in here!”
The room goes silent as Michibiki glides in. He smiles, guilelessly… probably. “What are you all chatting up a storm about?”
There’s an awkward silence, before Helpa ventures to speak. “We were just talking about Jamiga’s new selection of drinks.”
“Yes. Everyone’s so excited to try them,” Docta says at once, always quick to back Helpa up.
“Oh, I see. I’ve been looking forward to trying some myself,” Michibiki replies.
Jamiga, who had been shrinking in terror, perks up again. “Really? Thanks~ You know I’ll serve you whatever you want any time!”
“The third one on your menu sounded good, what was that again?” Michibiki asks, raising a sleeve to his chin and looking thoughtful. “I can’t seem to remember the name…”
“Oh, you mean…” Jamiga starts to cringe again. “Sex on the Beach…?”
“Right, that one!” Michibiki says, smiling just the same as always. “Sounds delicious. Pour me some of that, please.”
As usual, it’s impossible to tell if Michibiki knows everything going on in his town and is just fucking with all of them, or if it’s genuinely a coincidence.
No one has a good time that night.
Fandom: Farethere City
Character(s): Helpa, Docta, Jamiga, Hiro, Jekyll, Michibiki
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 510
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: What are bars for if not to speculate about whether your mayor can have sex or not?
Notes: I'd like to apologize?
When Helpa and Docta walk into the bar, Jamiga is already deep in conversation with Hiro. Jekyll seems mildly annoyed, but that’s his default state, so what the other two are talking about is much more interesting.
“It’s not about whether he has legs or not,” Jamiga says. “It’s all about the pelvis~ Oh, hi there, Docta, Helpa. Take a seat!”
Docta sits down at the bar, with Helpa taking the seat beside him. “What are you two talking about?”
Hiro looks the tiniest bit embarrassed. Jekyll answers for him: “They’re trying to figure out if Michibiki can have sex or not.”
“Oh my.” Helpa giggles, as the line on Docta’s face turns pink from embarrassment. “And what have you decided?”
“Can’t figure it out,” Hiro says, looking away. “He’s got no legs, right? Nothin’ from the waist down. There’s no way he’s got the right parts.”
“I’m telling you, it’s not about the legs, it’s about the pelvis,” Jamiga says again. “His is right on the borderline! He could have one or he could not have one, who knows~”
“Hey, you’ve gotta have given him a checkup, right, Docta?” says Hiro. “So, you’ve gotta know for sure, right?”
“While that… would be true, he has never submitted to me for a checkup,” Docta says, probably trying to sound mild but only managing to sound nervous.
“You’re embarrassing the good doctor,” Helpa says, smiling wider. “But I hope he has the right equipment… regular sexual release is good for stress, and he works so hard for us. He deserves a little alone time.”
There’s a pause between all of them, before Jekyll says, “Maybe he has one but it’s not solid.”
“That’s even worse than not having one at all!” says Jamiga. “You’re so cruel.”
Jekyll scowls. “You’re the one who brought this stupid topic up in the first place!”
“Aaa, looks like everyone’s having a fun time in here!”
The room goes silent as Michibiki glides in. He smiles, guilelessly… probably. “What are you all chatting up a storm about?”
There’s an awkward silence, before Helpa ventures to speak. “We were just talking about Jamiga’s new selection of drinks.”
“Yes. Everyone’s so excited to try them,” Docta says at once, always quick to back Helpa up.
“Oh, I see. I’ve been looking forward to trying some myself,” Michibiki replies.
Jamiga, who had been shrinking in terror, perks up again. “Really? Thanks~ You know I’ll serve you whatever you want any time!”
“The third one on your menu sounded good, what was that again?” Michibiki asks, raising a sleeve to his chin and looking thoughtful. “I can’t seem to remember the name…”
“Oh, you mean…” Jamiga starts to cringe again. “Sex on the Beach…?”
“Right, that one!” Michibiki says, smiling just the same as always. “Sounds delicious. Pour me some of that, please.”
As usual, it’s impossible to tell if Michibiki knows everything going on in his town and is just fucking with all of them, or if it’s genuinely a coincidence.
No one has a good time that night.