It is cruel, perhaps, not to address this note to Kan.

Out of everyone in the world, Kan is undoubtedly the closest and dearest to Akutagawa. He will mourn more than Akutagawa's own family. The image of him weeping churns in Akutagawa's stomach, but it does not weaken his resolve.

It is because he is closer to Kan that he addresses the note to Kume instead. Kume, at times a dear friend, at other times a bitterly jealous writer trapped in his shadow. If anyone will feel a sense of relief at him being gone, it is Kume, though he will likely curse himself for feeling that way. Akutagawa doesn't hate that about him: his choice to die is about himself and no one else, but if someone else benefits as well, all the better.

He does not want to be mourned, to be elevated in death to the status of a god. He simply wishes to slip quietly and painlessly into the eternal night.

to certain old friends

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