pikuach nefesh

[misheard]

Title: pikuach nefesh
Fandom: Fate/Grand Order
Character(s): Ritsuka, Avicebron
Pairing(s): Ritsuka/Avicebron
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 782
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Avicebron gets hurt protecting Ritsuka, and Ritsuka needs to feed him their blood. This is a problem.
Notes:

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If you're going to be cut off from Chaldea with a singular Servant at your side - which Ritsuka firmly recommends against, by the way - Avicebron is not the best choice.

As part of a team, his golems add immense utilty and flexibility to any endeavor… but as a lone Servant, he is neither strong, nor fast, nor tough. In a combat situation, things rapidly spiral out of his control.

Avicebron does all he can, of course. He makes golem after golem, even as the wolves break through the front ranks and tear into the golems' creator. He makes a more appealing target than Ritsuka, who is cowering behind a tree despite being bigger than Avicebron and only a little more fragile.

They watch his back and bite their tongue to keep herself from calling out when the wolves' teeth sink into him. They can't tell by his face how much pain he's in, or if he's afraid, or if he resents having to protect them. They can only hide and wait.

The last of the wolves falls to a golem's strike, and Avicebron staggers back to her. "You're not hurt?" he asks, even though he's the one who's barely standing.

"N-no, I'm okay. But Avicebron, you-"

They don't manage more than that before Avicebron collapses into their arms. They ease his unconscious body down to the ground and worry at their lip.

It would have been great if they had a healing Mystic Code today, but they don't. Their own magecraft is too weak to be of any use here. But the longer they stay here out in the open with their only Servant unconscious, the more danger they'll be in. Their options are limited, and the ones they do have are…

If it were anyone other than Avicebron, Ritsuka wouldn't hesitate to give some of their blood to provide them with a little energy, enough that he could get on his feet again. But dripping blood onto a Servant's clothes doesn't do any good: they have to feed it to him, and that would mean taking off his mask.

Ritsuka has never seen Avicebron without his mask. They don't even imagine what he might look like without it: as far as they're concerned, that mask is his face. He's made it clear that no one is permitted to look at him without it, even his Master; his tone suggested that he doesn't much like looking at himself without it either.

To take his mask off when he can't give permission feels like a betrayal of the worst kind. Even though they know that they're trying to heal him, even though they know that their hesitation now puts them at risk, the idea of seeing his naked face has their heart in a vice grip.

…But they won't be able to apologize to him later if they both die here. Swallowing the lump in their throat, Ritsuka turns Avicebron's head to the side to feel around for the mask's fasteners.

It comes off surprisingly easily, for such an important thing. Ritsuka turns around as soon as they feel it come loose and sets the mask aside. They fumble for the pocket knife they keep on their person and cut shallowly into their hand, stopping once blood springs to the surface. Eyes shut, they turn back and blindly feel around for Avicebron's mouth.

Even this is too cruel, they think. They can feel the scar tissue, the pockmarks, the marks of weakness that Avicebron hates. They screw their eyes closed as tight as they can as they open his mouth and feed him their blood.

It takes entirely too long before they hear Avicebron begin to stir. "Wh…"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't think of any other way to heal you, but - I didn't see anything, but I'm so, so sorry, you got hurt protecting me and this is how I-"

He cuts them off by hugging them to his chest, and their eyes open reflexively. All they can see from this angle is his golden hair. "Master. You don't need to apologize for anything."

"But I…" Slowly, they wrap their arms around him in return. "I never wanted to do anything that would betray your trust."

"…There is a principle that preserving a life overrides the breaking of any rule or commandment, even if that rule comes directly from God," Avicebron says softly. "I trust you to do the right thing in any circumstance. That hasn't changed."

He draws back enough to look them in the eyes. Finally they hold his gaze without flinching.

"…You know, you have beautiful eyes."

Avicebron smiles, a slight but wonderful thing. "Thank you, Master. So do you."