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End of Days Advice
Title: End of Days Advice
Fandom: Undertale
Character(s): Alphys, Frisk, Mettaton, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Napstablook
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 600
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Alphys gives a Powerpoint presentation on the zombie situation. It keeps getting interrupted.
Notes: And then I wrote zombies.
“Zombies are not a type of monster,” Alphys explains. “Even though humans might call them that, they’re different. Zombies are mindless creatures made of dead people that can’t be reasoned with while they’re pursuing brains to eat, and monsters are... not.”
Frisk raises their hand.
“Y-yes?”
“How did you jerry-rig a Powerpoint presentation in the middle of the zombie apocalypse?” they ask.
“It’s best not to question how Alphys makes anything, dear,” says Mettaton. “Otherwise I’d be without my solar charger, and, well...”
They nod. They haven’t had many outlets to stop and plug Mettaton in at while on the run.
Alphys smiles a little, though it’s tinged with nervousness as usual, and clicks to the next slide. “Under no circumstances attempt to show mercy to a zombie. They can’t understand you, they’re not gonna spare you, it’s a bad idea.”
Sans raises his hand.
“Sans?”
“So what you’re saying is,” Sans says, in his usual lazy tone, “trying to show mercy to a zombie would be a brainless move.”
The entire room groans. Papyrus is the loudest of all of them. “Sans!”
“You know me, bro. Saw a pun, had to go for it.” Sans has a smile on his face, as always.
Papyrus sighs, too dramatic to be necessary. Also, he doesn’t have lungs. “Well. I suppose I’m glad that you’re still your usual self, despite all of this. If you stopped making bad jokes, I would think it was the end of the world or something like that.”
There follows a short silence.
Alphys coughs. “Right, next slide...”
Undyne’s hand shoots up.
“Undyne, what-?”
“Are we dealing with the fast-moving zombies that can only be destroyed by taking out the head, or the slower kind that can be disabled with fire, or-” Undyne continues listing off a bunch of zombies, sometimes including the ‘human history comic’ she learned about them from.
Alphys rubs her face. “I really have no idea. You’ll have to try everything, pretty much... Or just running away.”
“Running away?” Undyne repeats, her enthusiasm for destroying zombies audibly dampening. “I’d rather smash ‘em to bits.”
“I, I don’t want you to get bitten,” says Alphys. “If that ever happened to you, I... I...”
The audience waits.
“...would probably get killed by a super strong Undyne zombie!” Alphys says, too quickly to be what she originally intended to say. “A-anyway, on this slide, we have... um...”
The sound of a throat clearing, but weakly. “I... don’t have any hands to raise...” says Napstablook, in one corner.
“That’s okay, Napstablook,” says Alphys, sounding grateful to be rescued from presenting her own Powerpoint. You can ask a question.”
“Can zombies hurt ghosts...?” they ask.
“Probably not. Ghosts are incorporeal, and zombies haven’t shown any abilities in magic yet,” she replies.
“Oh... So I can’t be hurt, but all of you can... I’m really sorry about that...” Sniffle.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Mettaton. “Of course we’re all grateful that one of us is bound to survive.”
“Aren’t we all going to survive?” asks Papyrus. “That sounds like the kind of defeatist thinking that defeats people, and I, the great Papyrus, will not be defeated by hordes of zombies wanting to eat my brains! I don’t even have brains!”
“Two of us,” Mettaton corrects. “Technically, I don’t have brains in the usual sense, either.”
“Huh. So four of us are safe,” says Sans.
Frisk, Alphys, and Undyne stay silent for a second.
Undyne speaks up. “But they’ve got butts for me to kick!!” Frisk nods in total agreement.
“I... guess I didn’t need to make this Powerpoint after all?”
Fandom: Undertale
Character(s): Alphys, Frisk, Mettaton, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Napstablook
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 600
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Alphys gives a Powerpoint presentation on the zombie situation. It keeps getting interrupted.
Notes: And then I wrote zombies.
“Zombies are not a type of monster,” Alphys explains. “Even though humans might call them that, they’re different. Zombies are mindless creatures made of dead people that can’t be reasoned with while they’re pursuing brains to eat, and monsters are... not.”
Frisk raises their hand.
“Y-yes?”
“How did you jerry-rig a Powerpoint presentation in the middle of the zombie apocalypse?” they ask.
“It’s best not to question how Alphys makes anything, dear,” says Mettaton. “Otherwise I’d be without my solar charger, and, well...”
They nod. They haven’t had many outlets to stop and plug Mettaton in at while on the run.
Alphys smiles a little, though it’s tinged with nervousness as usual, and clicks to the next slide. “Under no circumstances attempt to show mercy to a zombie. They can’t understand you, they’re not gonna spare you, it’s a bad idea.”
Sans raises his hand.
“Sans?”
“So what you’re saying is,” Sans says, in his usual lazy tone, “trying to show mercy to a zombie would be a brainless move.”
The entire room groans. Papyrus is the loudest of all of them. “Sans!”
“You know me, bro. Saw a pun, had to go for it.” Sans has a smile on his face, as always.
Papyrus sighs, too dramatic to be necessary. Also, he doesn’t have lungs. “Well. I suppose I’m glad that you’re still your usual self, despite all of this. If you stopped making bad jokes, I would think it was the end of the world or something like that.”
There follows a short silence.
Alphys coughs. “Right, next slide...”
Undyne’s hand shoots up.
“Undyne, what-?”
“Are we dealing with the fast-moving zombies that can only be destroyed by taking out the head, or the slower kind that can be disabled with fire, or-” Undyne continues listing off a bunch of zombies, sometimes including the ‘human history comic’ she learned about them from.
Alphys rubs her face. “I really have no idea. You’ll have to try everything, pretty much... Or just running away.”
“Running away?” Undyne repeats, her enthusiasm for destroying zombies audibly dampening. “I’d rather smash ‘em to bits.”
“I, I don’t want you to get bitten,” says Alphys. “If that ever happened to you, I... I...”
The audience waits.
“...would probably get killed by a super strong Undyne zombie!” Alphys says, too quickly to be what she originally intended to say. “A-anyway, on this slide, we have... um...”
The sound of a throat clearing, but weakly. “I... don’t have any hands to raise...” says Napstablook, in one corner.
“That’s okay, Napstablook,” says Alphys, sounding grateful to be rescued from presenting her own Powerpoint. You can ask a question.”
“Can zombies hurt ghosts...?” they ask.
“Probably not. Ghosts are incorporeal, and zombies haven’t shown any abilities in magic yet,” she replies.
“Oh... So I can’t be hurt, but all of you can... I’m really sorry about that...” Sniffle.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Mettaton. “Of course we’re all grateful that one of us is bound to survive.”
“Aren’t we all going to survive?” asks Papyrus. “That sounds like the kind of defeatist thinking that defeats people, and I, the great Papyrus, will not be defeated by hordes of zombies wanting to eat my brains! I don’t even have brains!”
“Two of us,” Mettaton corrects. “Technically, I don’t have brains in the usual sense, either.”
“Huh. So four of us are safe,” says Sans.
Frisk, Alphys, and Undyne stay silent for a second.
Undyne speaks up. “But they’ve got butts for me to kick!!” Frisk nods in total agreement.
“I... guess I didn’t need to make this Powerpoint after all?”