nealuchi | Change Its Spots

Title: Change Its Spots
Fandom: Fate/Zero
Character(s): Ryuunosuke, Zero Lancer, Zero Caster
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 1,070
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: The beginning of Ryuunosuke's day.
Notes: I should really, really look up my scores for the contest this was written for, but I'm nervous.

Sunlight filtered into the underground tank very barely if at all, but the human body could remember what was morning if you kept it on a regular schedule, and Ryuunosuke woke at a reasonable hour. He yawned, mumbled the obligatory "Five more minutes, sir..." into Bluebeard's side, then slowly got to his feet.

Right. Out of pajamas, into normal clothes to tackle the day. One of Ryuunosuke's deepest regrets in the world was that you could not wear all leopard print and look anything but stupid, so he had to pick what he wanted to wear. If he forgot he could rely on his shoes to keep the pattern going, but he felt like putting a little more effort in today.

Pants? Nah. Shirt? Maybe. Socks? Too close to the shoes and his last pair of non-leopard-print shoes had gotten soaked with blood. Underwear? Maybe. Choker? Looked kind of silly on him. Jacket? Maybe. After much thought, deliberation, and several coin tosses that didn't count - he was never really good at making decisions - he went with the shirt.

Clothes were changed! Time to go have breakfast! And not on human flesh because it tasted gross. Time to go leave the tank.

"Siiiir, I'm gonna go grab breakfast now, 'kay?" he called back, already heading out the door. "I won't be gone too long! Don't do anything too cool when I'm out unless you've got a recording for me later."

Caster chuckled, briefly roused from his mumblings to himself about Jeanne. "Enjoy yourself, my Master."

Ryuunosuke squinted when the sunlight reached his eyes. Where should he head to now? There was the cafe, fast food, some Ahnenerbe coffee shop place... Oh, there was that Irish place he'd always wanted to try since it opened. He had no idea what they served for breakfast, but the drinks had to be pretty good, right? Otherwise it wouldn't be Irish.

Singing along to himself ("Boxty on the griddle, boxty on the pan~ If you can't bake boxty sure you'll never get a man~"), Ryuunosuke headed towards the restaurant. Maybe he'd bring some back for Bluebeard? What kinds of stuff did he eat anyway? Besides the souls of dead children et cetera et cetera. Was he more of a whiskey or an ale person? He really should have asked these kinds of questions before he left... he's definitely not a good Master if he can't do something simple like bring back breakfast-

Whumph. He rubbed his head after a small collision from someone walking too fast. "Owwww."

"Oh, I'm sorry." A vaguely familiar voice apologized to him. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worr...y." Ryuunosuke looked up and stopped.

There was a feeling that Ryuunsouke knew well. He knew it better than any other emotion, and he treasured it in his heart. No sensation of simple happiness from anywhere else could ever compare to this: it would be so cool to kill this guy.

Lancer raised an eyebrow slightly. "Is something wrong?"

"Providence," Ryuunosuke declared, suddenly taking Lancer's hand. Lancer jerked but didn't shove him away. "It's definitely meant for us to meet each other here! I am buying you a drink."

"You really don't need to-"

"The most expensive drink on the menu."

"I would rather not be any trouble-"

"Right now." Ryuunosuke jerked his head towards the Irish restaurant they were standing right next to. "I seriously mean it."

After a moment, Lancer closed his eyes and visibly resigned himself. "...Only one drink. If you absolutely must."

A waiter soon led them to their table, and after placing an order, Ryuunosuke drifted into thought. This was the guy with the lance that made wounds that never healed, right? In that case, there were all kinds of disfigurement options. You could steal his lance and stab him through a hundred nonlethal but very very painful places Ryuunosuke knew about, or maybe try for something a bit more crippling, or just see how much of a fight he put up before getting killed - he was totally the never surrender, never say die type - or maybe-

"Is something the matter?" Lancer looked uncomfortable.

Ryuunosuke snapped to attention. "Just thinking about stuff! Hey, you're new to Fuyuki, right? I can tell. How are you liking the place?"

"I have no complaints about it." Lancer searched for words slowly. "I'm visiting with a couple, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to stay with them. The city itself doesn't matter as much."

Nod, nod. "Aaand, what about what you're doing here, is that any fun?"

A small smile. "I'm enjoying parts of it. The ability to participate in this is an honor."

Wow, he was terrible at talking around the Holy Grail War thing. Even Ryuunosuke, who really didn't care to pay much attention, knew immediately what he meant. Probably his Master didn't let him off his leash much. "What are you doing away from your hosts?"

Lancer stiffened a little. "Th-that's... something I'd rather not talk about."

"...you totally got kicked out for a while, didn't you," Ryuunosuke guessed.

Lancer nodded, looking more like he'd gotten kicked in the face.

"Man, that's rough. What'd you do to piss them off?"

"I don't know. So- one of them is more fond of me than the other, and when she neglects her fiancé for my sake, it angers him." The words spilled out in a rush. "Although I have nothing but the best intentions, I can't do anything to stop her actions, and every word she says seems to hurt him more and more, and I just want him to trust that I would do nothing to betray him, and-!"

Ryuunosuke patted him on the shoulder gently. "It's okay. Things will be okay, yeah? You're a good guy. He'll realize it's not your fault." Assuming he didn't get eviscerated first. Or torn apart limb from limb. Man, so many options... "Have a little more faith. Things'll be fine."

"Thank you. You are really too kind..." Lancer regained a little of his composure. "I shouldn't have said all of that to a stranger."

"Nobody's a stranger who buys you a drink." Ryuunosuke chuckled as the waiter approached again and set down their glasses. "And you know what else will help with this? Beer. Beer will definitely help with this."

Lancer chuckled and lifted his drink towards him. "I can't argue with that. Cheers?"

"Cheers." Clink.