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my ringtone heart
Title: my ringtone heart
Fandom: End Roll
Character(s): Russell, Yue, Raymond, Walter, Fairia
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1,080
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Attempted suicide
Summary: The Dreamsend employees come to visit Russell.
Notes: By request!
The first words out of Russell’s mouth after succeeding in the Happy Dream Rehabilitation Program are, “You’re taller in real life.”
Tussling with the officials in his cell, trying to get back the syringe, hadn’t required words, and after he’d failed and been moved to a psychiatric ward for his own safety, he’d lapsed into a stubborn silence. He’s never been talkative, but here he refused to say a single word to the doctors or nurses.
They called his aunt. He refused to speak to her, either, so they let him listen to their half of the conversation. She had no interest in coming to visit, which didn’t surprise him at all.
Russell’s not completely uncooperative. He’ll go where he’s instructed to go and sleep at the required hours despite how many nightmares he has. He just won’t talk.
So when he’s informed that there’s someone here to see him, he’s confused, but he heads to the visitor area anyway. There’s a woman he doesn’t recognize, grey-haired, probably in her forties, with a tired expression.
“Hello, Russell,” she says. He doesn’t answer that. “My name’s Yue. I don’t know if you remember me, but I was in your dream.”
“You’re taller in real life.” The words slip out without him thinking about them.
That gets a hint of a smile. “The dream interprets our appearances and abilities some so that we fit better into its context without drawing too much attention to ourselves. Walter doesn’t usually wear robes, and Raymond doesn’t know anything about guns.”
That makes sense. He hadn’t really thought about how the Dreamsend employees would stick out in reality, dressed like that.
“Would you like the others to visit you, too?” Yue asks. “Being here without anyone coming to see you… seems lonely.”
It is lonely. But that loneliness is what Russell deserves, if he can’t just die and get things over with.
“We don’t mind,” she adds, when he hesitates to give an answer.
After a moment or two of thought, he nods. ...It seems like it might make them happy.
His visit with Yue is short - all visits here are short. Afterwards, he starts talking again, at least enough to answer the doctors.
Raymond is next, which doesn’t completely surprise Russell; of all the Dreamsend employees, he seemed the most likely to want to spend any time with him outside of work. He’s got a bag from the nearest fast food place with him. “Hey, buddy! Nice to see you in one piece.”
Russell nods, and looks at the bag with raised eyebrows. “Did you not have dinner?”
With a laugh, Raymond shakes his head. “The food here sucks, right? Always does in hospitals. I figured you’d want real food for once, so here you go - it’s all yours.”
Carefully, Russell takes the bag, not quite sure why this is happening but not wanting to question it either. “Thank you.”
The food’s still hot. The burger is delicious, and Russell’s halfway through the large size fries before he asks, “Why are you here?”
“Eh?” Raymond says. “Isn’t it normal when your friend’s in the hospital to want to come keep ‘em company?”
It’s not quite a hospital, but that’s close enough, Russell guesses. The ‘friend’ part is more confusing, but he’s not sure exactly he should start arguing with that. In the end, he doesn’t come up with a good response before Raymond has to go.
That Walter shows up to see him at all does come as a surprise. He doesn’t arrive with gifts, but when Russell starts asking him questions, he does answer without hesitation or trying to deflect.
“What’ll happen to me when I leave here?”
“Your aunt still has legal custody over you. The company is currently trying to convince her to take you back; if that can’t be done, you’ll become a ward of the state,” Walter says.
Knowing her, Russell doesn’t think she will. “How did you all get permission to visit me? I thought you had to be related to visit.”
“Fairia pulled the necessary strings.” At Russell’s surprise expression, Walter adds, “You did save her life in the unregulated space. I suppose she feels a debt to you, and having you waste away here alone wouldn’t sit well with her.”
Fairia can be surprisingly kind when she isn’t being incredibly scary. “...How is anybody supposed to live like this? Your company made the medicine, so you know what it does, right…?”
That gets Walter to pause, but he doesn’t look like he’s ignoring Russell, just thinking. “Living with guilt… It’s true that what you tried to do is the easiest way out. But I’m sure you’ve been told before that that won’t help anyone, and neither will it make up for anything.”
Russell nods. He’s heard that many times here.
“I can’t tell you why life is worth living,” Walter says. “That’s something you’ll have to discover for yourself. ...But, you’re a surprisingly strong person, so I believe it’s possible for you.”
Russell ruminates on that one for a while, at least until the next time he gets a visitor.
This time it’s Fairia. “Helloooo there!” She squishes him in a hug without asking, but lets go the instant he freezes up. “Oh, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he says. “Um - Walter said you’re the reason everyone could come visit, so… thank you.”
Her smile gets wider and she waves a dismissive hand. “It was nothing! Anyway, it’s not like I could just sit around in my comfy, comfy office while you were over here and do nothing, you know? Do they feed you enough here? How about the beds, do you have enough blankets?”
“I’m fine,” Russell says. “I’ll probably be out soon anyway… wherever they’re going to send me.”
“Probably a foster home,” she says, nearly pouting. “Your aunt’s being super uncooperative, and as much as he likes you, Raymond would be a terrible dad, you know? Don’t even get me started on Walter. You’re way lucky the judges wouldn’t even consider them for guardianship.”
“...Will I still get to see them?” Russell asks.
“Yep!” she says. “No matter where you go, we’ll still come visit you. So you won’t have to be alone, okay?”
Russell still doesn’t know why life is worth living, or how he’s going to handle surviving with all this guilt. He can’t imagine any foster parents wanting to take him in.
But, if he’s really not alone… maybe he’ll get by, somehow.
Fandom: End Roll
Character(s): Russell, Yue, Raymond, Walter, Fairia
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1,080
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Attempted suicide
Summary: The Dreamsend employees come to visit Russell.
Notes: By request!
The first words out of Russell’s mouth after succeeding in the Happy Dream Rehabilitation Program are, “You’re taller in real life.”
Tussling with the officials in his cell, trying to get back the syringe, hadn’t required words, and after he’d failed and been moved to a psychiatric ward for his own safety, he’d lapsed into a stubborn silence. He’s never been talkative, but here he refused to say a single word to the doctors or nurses.
They called his aunt. He refused to speak to her, either, so they let him listen to their half of the conversation. She had no interest in coming to visit, which didn’t surprise him at all.
Russell’s not completely uncooperative. He’ll go where he’s instructed to go and sleep at the required hours despite how many nightmares he has. He just won’t talk.
So when he’s informed that there’s someone here to see him, he’s confused, but he heads to the visitor area anyway. There’s a woman he doesn’t recognize, grey-haired, probably in her forties, with a tired expression.
“Hello, Russell,” she says. He doesn’t answer that. “My name’s Yue. I don’t know if you remember me, but I was in your dream.”
“You’re taller in real life.” The words slip out without him thinking about them.
That gets a hint of a smile. “The dream interprets our appearances and abilities some so that we fit better into its context without drawing too much attention to ourselves. Walter doesn’t usually wear robes, and Raymond doesn’t know anything about guns.”
That makes sense. He hadn’t really thought about how the Dreamsend employees would stick out in reality, dressed like that.
“Would you like the others to visit you, too?” Yue asks. “Being here without anyone coming to see you… seems lonely.”
It is lonely. But that loneliness is what Russell deserves, if he can’t just die and get things over with.
“We don’t mind,” she adds, when he hesitates to give an answer.
After a moment or two of thought, he nods. ...It seems like it might make them happy.
His visit with Yue is short - all visits here are short. Afterwards, he starts talking again, at least enough to answer the doctors.
Raymond is next, which doesn’t completely surprise Russell; of all the Dreamsend employees, he seemed the most likely to want to spend any time with him outside of work. He’s got a bag from the nearest fast food place with him. “Hey, buddy! Nice to see you in one piece.”
Russell nods, and looks at the bag with raised eyebrows. “Did you not have dinner?”
With a laugh, Raymond shakes his head. “The food here sucks, right? Always does in hospitals. I figured you’d want real food for once, so here you go - it’s all yours.”
Carefully, Russell takes the bag, not quite sure why this is happening but not wanting to question it either. “Thank you.”
The food’s still hot. The burger is delicious, and Russell’s halfway through the large size fries before he asks, “Why are you here?”
“Eh?” Raymond says. “Isn’t it normal when your friend’s in the hospital to want to come keep ‘em company?”
It’s not quite a hospital, but that’s close enough, Russell guesses. The ‘friend’ part is more confusing, but he’s not sure exactly he should start arguing with that. In the end, he doesn’t come up with a good response before Raymond has to go.
That Walter shows up to see him at all does come as a surprise. He doesn’t arrive with gifts, but when Russell starts asking him questions, he does answer without hesitation or trying to deflect.
“What’ll happen to me when I leave here?”
“Your aunt still has legal custody over you. The company is currently trying to convince her to take you back; if that can’t be done, you’ll become a ward of the state,” Walter says.
Knowing her, Russell doesn’t think she will. “How did you all get permission to visit me? I thought you had to be related to visit.”
“Fairia pulled the necessary strings.” At Russell’s surprise expression, Walter adds, “You did save her life in the unregulated space. I suppose she feels a debt to you, and having you waste away here alone wouldn’t sit well with her.”
Fairia can be surprisingly kind when she isn’t being incredibly scary. “...How is anybody supposed to live like this? Your company made the medicine, so you know what it does, right…?”
That gets Walter to pause, but he doesn’t look like he’s ignoring Russell, just thinking. “Living with guilt… It’s true that what you tried to do is the easiest way out. But I’m sure you’ve been told before that that won’t help anyone, and neither will it make up for anything.”
Russell nods. He’s heard that many times here.
“I can’t tell you why life is worth living,” Walter says. “That’s something you’ll have to discover for yourself. ...But, you’re a surprisingly strong person, so I believe it’s possible for you.”
Russell ruminates on that one for a while, at least until the next time he gets a visitor.
This time it’s Fairia. “Helloooo there!” She squishes him in a hug without asking, but lets go the instant he freezes up. “Oh, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he says. “Um - Walter said you’re the reason everyone could come visit, so… thank you.”
Her smile gets wider and she waves a dismissive hand. “It was nothing! Anyway, it’s not like I could just sit around in my comfy, comfy office while you were over here and do nothing, you know? Do they feed you enough here? How about the beds, do you have enough blankets?”
“I’m fine,” Russell says. “I’ll probably be out soon anyway… wherever they’re going to send me.”
“Probably a foster home,” she says, nearly pouting. “Your aunt’s being super uncooperative, and as much as he likes you, Raymond would be a terrible dad, you know? Don’t even get me started on Walter. You’re way lucky the judges wouldn’t even consider them for guardianship.”
“...Will I still get to see them?” Russell asks.
“Yep!” she says. “No matter where you go, we’ll still come visit you. So you won’t have to be alone, okay?”
Russell still doesn’t know why life is worth living, or how he’s going to handle surviving with all this guilt. He can’t imagine any foster parents wanting to take him in.
But, if he’s really not alone… maybe he’ll get by, somehow.