![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
past heads and tails
Title: past heads and tails
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs, Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): BSD!Chuuya, BunAru!Odasaku, BSD!Dazai, BunAru!Chuuya
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 1,595
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Chuuya does not get paid nearly enough to deal with alternate universe versions of mafia members.
Notes: Bungo to Alchemist-Odasaku calls the other authors 'Oniisan' in their team-up attack and that makes me happy. It does not make Dazai happy.
Ability users with Abilities they aren’t sure of are a pain.
Chuuya knows this woman is an Ability user, but she hasn’t used anything yet, just shot a few of his subordinates. They’ll all probably be fine if they get treatment soon, but that requires him wrapping up this encounter soon, and while he’d really like to do that, he still doesn’t know all she can do and that forces him to be at least a little cautious.
Not so cautious that he won’t close in on her when she gives him an opening. His fist is about to collide with her stomach when he’s blown back by a strong wind, and barely lands on his feet.
Or… that’s not wind. A stream of writing? Isn’t that one of the Guild members’ Abilities? Except these words are coming together, forming-
-that’s a guy. Not one Chuuya knows, and did this lady make a guy out of words? Is that even possible as an Ability?
The man looks very confused, probably more than Chuuya does right now. He takes in his surroundings - mafia members picking themselves off the ground, Chuuya on one side of him, enemy Ability user on the other. “Uh - I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be here-”
“Please distract them for a while,” the woman says, and bolts for it. A couple of Chuuya’s subordinates attempt to shoot her, but she manages to evade and get around a corner.
Chuuya would love to go after her himself but there’s suddenly another combatant directly in front of him. He tsks and backs up, knife out, getting a measure of this guy.
Most importantly, he’s armed, a knife sheathed on either side of him. He looks like he’s around Chuuya’s age, maybe a little younger, and he’s dressed relatively simply (if you don’t count the weird hip scarf and too many belts to be practical) and like a normal person who didn’t just appear out of nowhere.
He also has his hands up. “I surrender, I think? Can somebody explain what’s going on?” he asks. His accent is noticeably Osaka-ben.
Chuuya glances back at his subordinates and, specifically, their injuries. “...Fine. Disarm yourself, you’re a hostage now.”
The man obliges, setting both of his knives on the ground and backing up.
Chuuya picks them up, then sighs. “Just… follow me. I’ll deal with you after I get my subordinates treated. Do you have a name?”
“I’m Oda Sakunosuke,” he replies. “Nice to meetcha-”
Chuuya almost drops the knives. “You’ve gotta be fucking with me.”
Chuuya has met Oda Sakunosuke exactly never in his lifetime, but he’s seen photos in the mafia’s files. He did not look a thing like this guy, and also he is very much dead.
Odasaku insists that his name is definitely Oda Sakunosuke. “Maybe it’s a common name?” he asks, idly messing with his long braid as they walk.
“Not likely,” Chuuya replies. “Just checking, but you’re not in the mafia, right?”
Shake of the head. “I’m an author. Have you read Sweet Beans For Two?”
“Never heard of it,” says Chuuya.
“Huh… what about Vulgarity?” Odasaku asks. “I’m proud of that one, got me nominated for the Akutagawa Prize-”
Chuuya stops and turns to look at him. “The what.”
“The Akutagawa Prize?” Odasaku tilts his head a little at him. “Named after famous author Akutagawa Ryunosuke, the guy they call ‘father of the Japanese short story’?”
Chuuya takes in a deep breath, and exhales. “Okay. I’m going to list some names, and you’re going to tell me if you know them or not.”
“Sure,” says Odasaku. “Hit me.”
“Mori Ougai.”
“Novelist, poet. One of the big writers of the Meiji period.”
“Ozaki Kouyou.”
“Novelist, poet. He’s most famous for writing ‘The Golden Demon’.”
“...I’m not sure what part of that is more bizarre, her Ability being a story or her being a man,” Chuuya says, “but I’ll get back to that. Tachihara Michizou.”
“He’s a poet too.”
“Kaiji Motojirou?”
“Mostly did short stories. ‘Lemon’ was really good.”
“Hirotsu Ryurou?”
“Novelist. Pretty sure that’s a pen name though.”
“Higuchi Ichiyou?”
“She pretty much did short stories.”
Chuuya sighs in relief at at least one of the women still being a woman. “Yumeno Kyusaku?”
“Did detective novels.”
Chuuya pauses. “Dazai Osamu?”
At this, Odasaku’s eyes light up. “We were friends when we were still alive! Oh, he’s a novelist too-”
“Wait.” Odasaku’s been spouting all kinds of ridiculous things, but that might actually be important. “What do you mean, still alive?”
“Me and all those people are dead,” Odasaku says. He doesn’t seem to mind terribly much. “I thought it was pretty obvious. It’d be weird to summon a living person, y’know?”
“...I guess.” Chuuya rubs at his forehead. He feels a headache coming on. “You’ve been summoned before? This isn’t new to you?”
“I was helping out a summoner already when I got yanked over here,” says Odasaku. “But I knew what I was supposed to be doing that time. Man, the Librarian’ll be pissed off if I’m gone too long… So, you got any idea how I’m gonna get back?”
“Just one,” says Chuuya. “But I don’t like it, and I’ll come up with anything else before I ask-”
“If you’re asking for my help,” says Dazai, grinning ear to ear, “you must really be desperate~”
Chuuya thinks he could not possibly scowl any more without hurting something. “There’s no point in keeping a hostage when nobody wants to pick them up, and he goes through rice way too fast for a dead guy. We just want to get rid of him.”
Odasaku rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry for all the trouble.”
“Sorry you had to deal with shorty over here,” Dazai says. Ignoring Chuuya’s glowering, he reaches out and taps Odasaku on the forehead.
A whole lot of nothing happens.
Chuuya grits his teeth. “What.”
“I could have told you this before, but the last time I dealt with an Ability user who ‘summoned’ something - it was animals that time - I had to touch the user themself to send their stuff back where it belonged,” Dazai explains. “Can’t help you. Maybe if you bring me the troublemaker, we’ll talk business.” He smiles brightly. “Until then, don’t make me look at you any longer than I have to.”
Chuuya grumbles to himself, then grabs Odasaku by the arm. “Come on, Odasaku, we’re leaving.”
“Uh, sure,” says Odasaku.
Dazai’s smile slips. “What did you call-? Hey, wait-”
“You wanted us to go, so we’re going,” Chuuya says, and feels a sense of satisfaction at the look on Dazai’s face as Chuuya tugs Odasaku out the door.
They track down the Ability user again, with every intent of dragging her to Dazai by force.
She uses her Ability again. Chuuya has no idea what it’s called, so he decides to mentally refer to it as ‘That Fucking Ability’ until further notice.
The first thing Chuuya notices about the new guy is that he’s shorter than Chuuya, by maybe ten centimeters. The next thing Chuuya notices is that they have a similar sense of style, down to the nice hat. The third thing, which probably should have been the first thing, is that he has a gun in one hand. And a bottle of sake in the other, but that’s not as important.
The Ability user bolts for it again. Chuuya tries to pursue, but has to stop when the summoned man points his gun at him.
“The hell’s going on here?” he asks. “Who’re you? I was in the middle of something-”
“It’s okay, bro!” Odasaku says, stepping in between Chuuya and the other guy. “He’s not the one who dragged us here, and he’s trying to send us back! He’s definitely a good guy-”
Chuuya stifles a laugh. It probably would get him shot, and that’s rarely fun.
The man still looks suspicious, but lowers his gun. “I guess if Odasaku’s sure,” he says.
Odasaku breathes a sigh of relief. “Thanks, bro.”
“Alright, so which one is this?” Chuuya asks. He’s kind of hoping for him to be Dazai, if only to finally be taller than him in some weird sense.
“I’m Nakahara Chuuya,” says the man, with a wave of his bottle of sake. “So who’re you?”
“...Okay, this time you’re definitely fucking with me. There’s no way.”
He finally finds someone who’s shorter than him and he can’t even lord it over them because it’s himself? This is the worst day of his life.
“I just don’t care anymore,” Chuuya tells Dazai. “You can keep ‘em. They’re eating too much rice and that guy goes through more alcohol than I do.”
Odasaku is hovering near Chuu- that other guy’s side. They’d given him back his knives, which Chuuya thinks is pretty gracious of them. “Sorry to impose, and all that stuff.”
“It’s not like it’s our fault,” the other guy says. “If it weren’t for them getting into fights, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Yeah, but bro, isn’t that kinda harsh?” Odasaku says.
Dazai’s eye twitches. “...You call Chuuya bro.”
“Huh? Oh, sure I do.” Odasaku seems to have entirely missed how tense Dazai is. “Chuuya’s great, always has my back!”
“You got some kind of problem with that?” the other Chuuya asks.
“...No, no, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter,” Dazai repeats, more to himself.
If Chuuya weren’t ready to wash his hands of this entire thing, he’d consider sticking around just to see Dazai’s slow descent into Odasaku-induced madness. It’d almost be worth it.
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs, Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): BSD!Chuuya, BunAru!Odasaku, BSD!Dazai, BunAru!Chuuya
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 1,595
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Chuuya does not get paid nearly enough to deal with alternate universe versions of mafia members.
Notes: Bungo to Alchemist-Odasaku calls the other authors 'Oniisan' in their team-up attack and that makes me happy. It does not make Dazai happy.
Ability users with Abilities they aren’t sure of are a pain.
Chuuya knows this woman is an Ability user, but she hasn’t used anything yet, just shot a few of his subordinates. They’ll all probably be fine if they get treatment soon, but that requires him wrapping up this encounter soon, and while he’d really like to do that, he still doesn’t know all she can do and that forces him to be at least a little cautious.
Not so cautious that he won’t close in on her when she gives him an opening. His fist is about to collide with her stomach when he’s blown back by a strong wind, and barely lands on his feet.
Or… that’s not wind. A stream of writing? Isn’t that one of the Guild members’ Abilities? Except these words are coming together, forming-
-that’s a guy. Not one Chuuya knows, and did this lady make a guy out of words? Is that even possible as an Ability?
The man looks very confused, probably more than Chuuya does right now. He takes in his surroundings - mafia members picking themselves off the ground, Chuuya on one side of him, enemy Ability user on the other. “Uh - I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be here-”
“Please distract them for a while,” the woman says, and bolts for it. A couple of Chuuya’s subordinates attempt to shoot her, but she manages to evade and get around a corner.
Chuuya would love to go after her himself but there’s suddenly another combatant directly in front of him. He tsks and backs up, knife out, getting a measure of this guy.
Most importantly, he’s armed, a knife sheathed on either side of him. He looks like he’s around Chuuya’s age, maybe a little younger, and he’s dressed relatively simply (if you don’t count the weird hip scarf and too many belts to be practical) and like a normal person who didn’t just appear out of nowhere.
He also has his hands up. “I surrender, I think? Can somebody explain what’s going on?” he asks. His accent is noticeably Osaka-ben.
Chuuya glances back at his subordinates and, specifically, their injuries. “...Fine. Disarm yourself, you’re a hostage now.”
The man obliges, setting both of his knives on the ground and backing up.
Chuuya picks them up, then sighs. “Just… follow me. I’ll deal with you after I get my subordinates treated. Do you have a name?”
“I’m Oda Sakunosuke,” he replies. “Nice to meetcha-”
Chuuya almost drops the knives. “You’ve gotta be fucking with me.”
Chuuya has met Oda Sakunosuke exactly never in his lifetime, but he’s seen photos in the mafia’s files. He did not look a thing like this guy, and also he is very much dead.
Odasaku insists that his name is definitely Oda Sakunosuke. “Maybe it’s a common name?” he asks, idly messing with his long braid as they walk.
“Not likely,” Chuuya replies. “Just checking, but you’re not in the mafia, right?”
Shake of the head. “I’m an author. Have you read Sweet Beans For Two?”
“Never heard of it,” says Chuuya.
“Huh… what about Vulgarity?” Odasaku asks. “I’m proud of that one, got me nominated for the Akutagawa Prize-”
Chuuya stops and turns to look at him. “The what.”
“The Akutagawa Prize?” Odasaku tilts his head a little at him. “Named after famous author Akutagawa Ryunosuke, the guy they call ‘father of the Japanese short story’?”
Chuuya takes in a deep breath, and exhales. “Okay. I’m going to list some names, and you’re going to tell me if you know them or not.”
“Sure,” says Odasaku. “Hit me.”
“Mori Ougai.”
“Novelist, poet. One of the big writers of the Meiji period.”
“Ozaki Kouyou.”
“Novelist, poet. He’s most famous for writing ‘The Golden Demon’.”
“...I’m not sure what part of that is more bizarre, her Ability being a story or her being a man,” Chuuya says, “but I’ll get back to that. Tachihara Michizou.”
“He’s a poet too.”
“Kaiji Motojirou?”
“Mostly did short stories. ‘Lemon’ was really good.”
“Hirotsu Ryurou?”
“Novelist. Pretty sure that’s a pen name though.”
“Higuchi Ichiyou?”
“She pretty much did short stories.”
Chuuya sighs in relief at at least one of the women still being a woman. “Yumeno Kyusaku?”
“Did detective novels.”
Chuuya pauses. “Dazai Osamu?”
At this, Odasaku’s eyes light up. “We were friends when we were still alive! Oh, he’s a novelist too-”
“Wait.” Odasaku’s been spouting all kinds of ridiculous things, but that might actually be important. “What do you mean, still alive?”
“Me and all those people are dead,” Odasaku says. He doesn’t seem to mind terribly much. “I thought it was pretty obvious. It’d be weird to summon a living person, y’know?”
“...I guess.” Chuuya rubs at his forehead. He feels a headache coming on. “You’ve been summoned before? This isn’t new to you?”
“I was helping out a summoner already when I got yanked over here,” says Odasaku. “But I knew what I was supposed to be doing that time. Man, the Librarian’ll be pissed off if I’m gone too long… So, you got any idea how I’m gonna get back?”
“Just one,” says Chuuya. “But I don’t like it, and I’ll come up with anything else before I ask-”
“If you’re asking for my help,” says Dazai, grinning ear to ear, “you must really be desperate~”
Chuuya thinks he could not possibly scowl any more without hurting something. “There’s no point in keeping a hostage when nobody wants to pick them up, and he goes through rice way too fast for a dead guy. We just want to get rid of him.”
Odasaku rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry for all the trouble.”
“Sorry you had to deal with shorty over here,” Dazai says. Ignoring Chuuya’s glowering, he reaches out and taps Odasaku on the forehead.
A whole lot of nothing happens.
Chuuya grits his teeth. “What.”
“I could have told you this before, but the last time I dealt with an Ability user who ‘summoned’ something - it was animals that time - I had to touch the user themself to send their stuff back where it belonged,” Dazai explains. “Can’t help you. Maybe if you bring me the troublemaker, we’ll talk business.” He smiles brightly. “Until then, don’t make me look at you any longer than I have to.”
Chuuya grumbles to himself, then grabs Odasaku by the arm. “Come on, Odasaku, we’re leaving.”
“Uh, sure,” says Odasaku.
Dazai’s smile slips. “What did you call-? Hey, wait-”
“You wanted us to go, so we’re going,” Chuuya says, and feels a sense of satisfaction at the look on Dazai’s face as Chuuya tugs Odasaku out the door.
They track down the Ability user again, with every intent of dragging her to Dazai by force.
She uses her Ability again. Chuuya has no idea what it’s called, so he decides to mentally refer to it as ‘That Fucking Ability’ until further notice.
The first thing Chuuya notices about the new guy is that he’s shorter than Chuuya, by maybe ten centimeters. The next thing Chuuya notices is that they have a similar sense of style, down to the nice hat. The third thing, which probably should have been the first thing, is that he has a gun in one hand. And a bottle of sake in the other, but that’s not as important.
The Ability user bolts for it again. Chuuya tries to pursue, but has to stop when the summoned man points his gun at him.
“The hell’s going on here?” he asks. “Who’re you? I was in the middle of something-”
“It’s okay, bro!” Odasaku says, stepping in between Chuuya and the other guy. “He’s not the one who dragged us here, and he’s trying to send us back! He’s definitely a good guy-”
Chuuya stifles a laugh. It probably would get him shot, and that’s rarely fun.
The man still looks suspicious, but lowers his gun. “I guess if Odasaku’s sure,” he says.
Odasaku breathes a sigh of relief. “Thanks, bro.”
“Alright, so which one is this?” Chuuya asks. He’s kind of hoping for him to be Dazai, if only to finally be taller than him in some weird sense.
“I’m Nakahara Chuuya,” says the man, with a wave of his bottle of sake. “So who’re you?”
“...Okay, this time you’re definitely fucking with me. There’s no way.”
He finally finds someone who’s shorter than him and he can’t even lord it over them because it’s himself? This is the worst day of his life.
“I just don’t care anymore,” Chuuya tells Dazai. “You can keep ‘em. They’re eating too much rice and that guy goes through more alcohol than I do.”
Odasaku is hovering near Chuu- that other guy’s side. They’d given him back his knives, which Chuuya thinks is pretty gracious of them. “Sorry to impose, and all that stuff.”
“It’s not like it’s our fault,” the other guy says. “If it weren’t for them getting into fights, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Yeah, but bro, isn’t that kinda harsh?” Odasaku says.
Dazai’s eye twitches. “...You call Chuuya bro.”
“Huh? Oh, sure I do.” Odasaku seems to have entirely missed how tense Dazai is. “Chuuya’s great, always has my back!”
“You got some kind of problem with that?” the other Chuuya asks.
“...No, no, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter,” Dazai repeats, more to himself.
If Chuuya weren’t ready to wash his hands of this entire thing, he’d consider sticking around just to see Dazai’s slow descent into Odasaku-induced madness. It’d almost be worth it.