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Entry tags:
wake ecstatic
Title: wake ecstatic
Fandom: Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): Atsushi
Pairing(s): Atsushi/Atsushi
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,195
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Atsushi tries to communicate with his other half. It goes... well?
Notes: Thank you to Fuuka for the translations, couldn't have done it without you~
The issue, for Atsushi, is not of knowing that his other personality is there.
It would be hard to explain blacking out every single time he enters battle, and the testimony from his fellow authors is that he is ‘like another person’ during that time. A wilder person, more arrogant, more decisive than the weak-hearted Atsushi.
No, he knows there’s another person in his body, and has known that for a long time. Instead, the problem is that he can’t say anything to him. His thoughts are only his, and it’s not as if he can speak aloud and be answered. He only knows that the other Atsushi is there because of the evidence he leaves - there’s no form of communication between them.
It seems… sad, to only exist as a person during battle. Atsushi would like to say something to him, but if there’s no way…
He taps his pen on his to-do list. Being the Librarian’s assistant is busy work. “I should make a note to myself,” he says, reaching for his pad of sticky notes, and then stops. “...A note… to myself?”
Atsushi deliberates over exact wording for a while. He has no idea how to properly greet one’s split personality, and he doesn’t know who he could ask. No one seems terribly close with his other half - understandably, since they’re busy with other tasks while in battle, and that’s all he shows his face for.
In the end, he just hopes for the best. If this doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work.
After the next excursion and the next blackout period, he sees when he wakes up that there’s still a note tightly tied around the hilt of his sword. That’s a good start.
His own handwriting is at the top, leaving plenty of room: Hello. Would you mind if we exchanged messages like this?
Below it is a single word, in messier but still readable handwriting: Fine.
Atsushi briefly wonders who brought a pen to the battle, then remembers that they’re authors easily struck by sudden inspiration: they all brought pens.
And so it begins. Atsushi will come up with a message for his other half and attach it to his sword - sticky notes were never seriously considered, too easily detached - and wait for the reply to come back to him after the next time his other half takes control.
Do you have a different name from me, or something else you want to be called?
No. I’m Nakajima Atsushi.
Nakajima-san, is there anything else you like to do besides fight?
I don’t know. I’ve never done anything else.
That’s sad. Atsushi can’t even imagine being limited to doing just one thing his whole life.
If you want to try something else, you can take over my body for a short time while we’re back in the library.
You actually want me to take over more?
He does feel a little strange about actually offering to hand over control more often - the one thing he’d relied on with his blackouts is that they only happened before and during battle, and it’s helped him feel safe. But...
If it’s for you getting to do more things, I don’t mind.
Let me eat dinner once. I’ll see if I like it.
Not even knowing what food tastes like is absurd.
Of course. You can eat dinner for us tonight.
Thanks.
As expected, Atsushi blacks out again before mealtime that evening. When he wakes up, he’s in the office, looking down at another note in that messy handwriting.
It was delicious. What else can I do?
Some of the others are concerned about him after that display. Atsushi has to reassure them that no, it’s fine, he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s not sure he does, but he has to say that or they’ll never stop worrying about him.
Nakajima-san, they have a game night tonight. Would you like to try that?
Yes.
Atsushi warns the others about what will happen and blacks out just as they’re sitting down. He wakes up again at the office, looking at a note.
I’m naturally good at games, of course. What else?
The exchanges continue that way - Atsushi will suggest something for his other half to do, Nakajima will agree, and Nakajima will almost always have a good time. Occasionally he finds activities boring - yoga was a bad idea - but for the most part, Nakajima enjoys himself and sometimes asks to be allowed to do them again.
Atsushi, what do you like to do? Besides writing.
It’s the first time Nakajima has asked about him. Atsushi thinks long and hard about his answer.
I like to spend time enjoying nature, when the weather allows it. When it doesn’t I like studying and learning about new things. And I like talking to you, Nakajima-san.
The return message has a lot of parts struck out too heavily to read. The parts left are simple.
You’ve been helpful. Thanks for that.
Of course, Nakajima-san. Please let me know if there’s anything else you want to try.
Would you mind if I kissed someone?
Atsushi gasps when he reads that note and is grateful that he’s alone. Let his other half try kissing someone with his body… no, it’s their body, properly. He doesn’t have any more of a stake in it than Nakajima does.
At the same time… it’s kissing. He feels his face burn up at the idea. Kissing that he wouldn’t even remember. He might ruin his relationship with somebody else.
...Never experiencing a kiss, though…
Please be discreet about it.
I will.
Atsushi blacks out when he’s alone that afternoon, so he doesn’t know exactly where Nakajima took their body. He wakes up in the office, as usual, and hesitates a few seconds before reading the note.
It was nice, but I wished I was kissing you instead. Is that normal?
Atsushi buries his face in his hands and thinks that if he never leaves this room, Nakajima won’t take over again, and Atsushi will never have to write a reply.
The Librarian would kick him out eventually. He takes a few deep, calming breaths, then tries to think of how to put this gently.
It’s not ‘normal’ because we share a body, but it is normal to think of someone you like when you’re doing things like that.
Atsushi wonders if reading the reply hours later will actually kill him from embarrassment, but he has to.
Do you like me, Atsushi?
It’s as he feared. He’s definitely dead. There is no more Nakajima Atsushi. He’s going to perish long before he can write a response with his trembling hands-
Yes.
When he comes to after his next blackout, the first thing Atsushi realizes is that he’s wearing lipstick. He doesn’t even own lipstick. He went into that battle with Tanizaki, though, and he knows Tanizaki owns some, so maybe it was borrowed for some reason-
It’s then that he sees the bright red kiss mark on the note he tied to the hilt of his sword.
Atsushi sinks to the ground and doesn’t move for several minutes.
His heart is fluttering. God help him.
Fandom: Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): Atsushi
Pairing(s): Atsushi/Atsushi
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,195
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Atsushi tries to communicate with his other half. It goes... well?
Notes: Thank you to Fuuka for the translations, couldn't have done it without you~
The issue, for Atsushi, is not of knowing that his other personality is there.
It would be hard to explain blacking out every single time he enters battle, and the testimony from his fellow authors is that he is ‘like another person’ during that time. A wilder person, more arrogant, more decisive than the weak-hearted Atsushi.
No, he knows there’s another person in his body, and has known that for a long time. Instead, the problem is that he can’t say anything to him. His thoughts are only his, and it’s not as if he can speak aloud and be answered. He only knows that the other Atsushi is there because of the evidence he leaves - there’s no form of communication between them.
It seems… sad, to only exist as a person during battle. Atsushi would like to say something to him, but if there’s no way…
He taps his pen on his to-do list. Being the Librarian’s assistant is busy work. “I should make a note to myself,” he says, reaching for his pad of sticky notes, and then stops. “...A note… to myself?”
Atsushi deliberates over exact wording for a while. He has no idea how to properly greet one’s split personality, and he doesn’t know who he could ask. No one seems terribly close with his other half - understandably, since they’re busy with other tasks while in battle, and that’s all he shows his face for.
In the end, he just hopes for the best. If this doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work.
After the next excursion and the next blackout period, he sees when he wakes up that there’s still a note tightly tied around the hilt of his sword. That’s a good start.
His own handwriting is at the top, leaving plenty of room: Hello. Would you mind if we exchanged messages like this?
Below it is a single word, in messier but still readable handwriting: Fine.
Atsushi briefly wonders who brought a pen to the battle, then remembers that they’re authors easily struck by sudden inspiration: they all brought pens.
And so it begins. Atsushi will come up with a message for his other half and attach it to his sword - sticky notes were never seriously considered, too easily detached - and wait for the reply to come back to him after the next time his other half takes control.
Do you have a different name from me, or something else you want to be called?
No. I’m Nakajima Atsushi.
Nakajima-san, is there anything else you like to do besides fight?
I don’t know. I’ve never done anything else.
That’s sad. Atsushi can’t even imagine being limited to doing just one thing his whole life.
If you want to try something else, you can take over my body for a short time while we’re back in the library.
You actually want me to take over more?
He does feel a little strange about actually offering to hand over control more often - the one thing he’d relied on with his blackouts is that they only happened before and during battle, and it’s helped him feel safe. But...
If it’s for you getting to do more things, I don’t mind.
Let me eat dinner once. I’ll see if I like it.
Not even knowing what food tastes like is absurd.
Of course. You can eat dinner for us tonight.
Thanks.
As expected, Atsushi blacks out again before mealtime that evening. When he wakes up, he’s in the office, looking down at another note in that messy handwriting.
It was delicious. What else can I do?
Some of the others are concerned about him after that display. Atsushi has to reassure them that no, it’s fine, he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s not sure he does, but he has to say that or they’ll never stop worrying about him.
Nakajima-san, they have a game night tonight. Would you like to try that?
Yes.
Atsushi warns the others about what will happen and blacks out just as they’re sitting down. He wakes up again at the office, looking at a note.
I’m naturally good at games, of course. What else?
The exchanges continue that way - Atsushi will suggest something for his other half to do, Nakajima will agree, and Nakajima will almost always have a good time. Occasionally he finds activities boring - yoga was a bad idea - but for the most part, Nakajima enjoys himself and sometimes asks to be allowed to do them again.
Atsushi, what do you like to do? Besides writing.
It’s the first time Nakajima has asked about him. Atsushi thinks long and hard about his answer.
I like to spend time enjoying nature, when the weather allows it. When it doesn’t I like studying and learning about new things. And I like talking to you, Nakajima-san.
The return message has a lot of parts struck out too heavily to read. The parts left are simple.
You’ve been helpful. Thanks for that.
Of course, Nakajima-san. Please let me know if there’s anything else you want to try.
Would you mind if I kissed someone?
Atsushi gasps when he reads that note and is grateful that he’s alone. Let his other half try kissing someone with his body… no, it’s their body, properly. He doesn’t have any more of a stake in it than Nakajima does.
At the same time… it’s kissing. He feels his face burn up at the idea. Kissing that he wouldn’t even remember. He might ruin his relationship with somebody else.
...Never experiencing a kiss, though…
Please be discreet about it.
I will.
Atsushi blacks out when he’s alone that afternoon, so he doesn’t know exactly where Nakajima took their body. He wakes up in the office, as usual, and hesitates a few seconds before reading the note.
It was nice, but I wished I was kissing you instead. Is that normal?
Atsushi buries his face in his hands and thinks that if he never leaves this room, Nakajima won’t take over again, and Atsushi will never have to write a reply.
The Librarian would kick him out eventually. He takes a few deep, calming breaths, then tries to think of how to put this gently.
It’s not ‘normal’ because we share a body, but it is normal to think of someone you like when you’re doing things like that.
Atsushi wonders if reading the reply hours later will actually kill him from embarrassment, but he has to.
Do you like me, Atsushi?
It’s as he feared. He’s definitely dead. There is no more Nakajima Atsushi. He’s going to perish long before he can write a response with his trembling hands-
Yes.
When he comes to after his next blackout, the first thing Atsushi realizes is that he’s wearing lipstick. He doesn’t even own lipstick. He went into that battle with Tanizaki, though, and he knows Tanizaki owns some, so maybe it was borrowed for some reason-
It’s then that he sees the bright red kiss mark on the note he tied to the hilt of his sword.
Atsushi sinks to the ground and doesn’t move for several minutes.
His heart is fluttering. God help him.