nealuchi | just like a temporary shelter

Title: just like a temporary shelter
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs, Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): BSD Akutagawa, BunAl Akutagawa
Pairing(s): BunAl Akutagawa/BSD Akutagawa
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 635
Rating: PG
Warnings: BunAl Stage spoilers
Summary: Akutagawas, breaking down and returning to health.
Notes: There's a DW fic renaissance which means posting... 360 fics from AO3 before I can do the friending memes and whatnot. Wish me luck. Written for BSD Rarepair Week, Part of Cogwheels.

Ryuunosuke dislikes being around anyone else when he’s healing, but he especially hates being around Akutagawa-sensei.

Akutagawa always carries that whiff of cigarette smoke around him even if he tries not to smoke around Ryuunosuke (and the fact that Akutagawa noticed and made accommodations for Ryuunosuke’s poor health is frustrating in itself). Normally it’s bothersome but not intolerable, but when he’s recovering from a serious injury, it seems like he can hardly be in the same building as Akutagawa without a coughing fit.

That the building in question is a library that offers some semblance of safe haven - it is a government institution, however unimposing, and the government does not take kindly to its institutions being attacked - is no help. Ryuunosuke doesn’t need or want to take anyone’s charity when he’s healing from an injury that came from his own weakness to begin with. He’s taken care of himself for this long and he has no intention of changing that.

He doesn’t intend to crawl back to the library after this humiliating defeat: it’s just closer than his apartment is, and passing out in the library is better than passing out on the street. He didn’t ask anyone to take care of him or bandage his wounds (not that he could have asked much of anything, he’d barely gotten through the doorway before blacking out) so his pride is still at least partially intact when he wakes up in a warm bed with his wounds all treated.

Akutagawa-sensei looks like he’s almost fallen asleep in the chair at Ryuunosuke’s bedside, but jerks awake when Ryuunosuke sits up. “Oh - please, you don’t need to get up, take a little more time to heal…”

Asking someone else for help is impossible. Accepting help he hasn’t asked for is just barely more feasible, and Ryuunosuke can only justify it to himself when thinking of how annoying Akutagawa can get when he’s worried. “…fine.”

Akutagawa-sensei has the benefit of being able to drink ink to cure any of his physical injuries. Ryuunosuke might be envious if ink didn’t taste so terrible - there’s no way Ryuunosuke could get it down even if he wanted to.

That isn’t to say he doesn’t come bother Ryuunosuke when he’s healing. It’s just not physical healing that takes the most out of him.

Ryuunosuke returns home to find Akutagawa sitting in front of his doorstep, sighs, and unlocks the door for him without bothering to ask just how long he’s been out there. He ignores Akutagawa’s mumbled thanks and goes to pour some tea.

He’s not the right person to ask what’s wrong, even if he were to admit to caring what’s wrong. Instead he sets a cup of hot tea in front of both of them and waits for Akutagawa to volunteer the information.

Akutagawa stares into his tea rather than look up at Ryuunosuke. “I nearly killed Musha, Shiga, and Dazai-kun.”

Only one of those people is someone Ryuunosuke cares about living or dying. It’s better that Dazai was involved, since ‘who cares’ is probably not the correct response. “Why?”

“I let my guilt consume me, and the Taints in my work tainted my mind as well. Dazai-kun was able to bring me back to my senses, but… at the time, I truly was trying to kill them.” Akutagawa sighs heavily. “And now none of them are even angry with me. I know they’re being kind, but their kindness only makes things worse.”

This part, he can understand a little better. “…You can’t get them to stop being kind, no matter how annoying it is, so you’ll have to get used to it.”

Now Akutagawa finally looks up at him. “Would you call that annoying?”

“Yes. You’re exactly the same way.” Ryuunosuke sips his tea and pretends not to see Akutagawa smile.