nealuchi | the melody of the rain

Title: the melody of the rain
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs, Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): BSD Akutagawa, Higuchi, BunAl Dazai
Pairing(s): BunAl Dazai/BSD Akutagawa
Genre: Fluff/Angst
Word Count: 601
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Implied abuse
Summary: Mafioso Akutagawa and novelist Dazai, teachers.
Notes: Written for BSD Rarepair Week. Part of Cogwheels.

That Dazai was the first person to listen to Akutagawa talk about how Dazai gave him a reason to be alive and say, “I understand.”

When Akutagawa’s heard nothing but nonsense about how Dazai trained him poorly, or how people are allowed to live no matter how weak they are, those words mean everything.

When this Dazai - Tsushima, he allows, though he’s not terribly fond of his birth name - speaks of his teachers, he speaks less of being replaced and more of being abandoned. Of names Akutagawa doesn’t recognize wanting nothing to do with him any longer, or pushing him away toward the end of his life. Of an Akutagawa-sensei who hardly knows who Tsushima is. (And when that changes, of an Akutagawa-sensei who nearly destroyed himself because of Tsushima’s careless words. There really is no winning there.)

He listens to Akutagawa speak of the man-tiger with vitriol and, instead of defending him, nods along and echoes his insults. It’s a change of pace that Akutagawa appreciates.

Whether Akutagawa appreciates Tsushima’s sincerity, the kindness, the easy forgiveness when Akutagawa makes a misstep, the interest in making Akutagawa happy that Dazai would never share - harder to say. But at least he doesn’t dislike it.

Their planned meetings are always private, but if Tsushima sees him in public he’ll stop and say hello. Akutagawa doesn’t exactly dislike that either, but…

Today he’s out with Higuchi, scoping out a building they suspect is being used as a warehouse for a foreign group. They’re within their rights to walk around in the daytime, less immediately suspicious. He didn’t want to bring Higuchi, but unfortunately Hirotsu and Gin are busy and Tachihara is the worst when it comes to making a scene.

“Akutagawa~”

Akutagawa turns his head at the sound of Tsushima heading over to them. Hopefully, he doesn’t notice Higuchi’s hand going to her holster or Akutagawa muttering, “Don’t.”

He’s as bright-eyed as ever when he reaches them. “It’s been a while! Oh, are you out with a coworker?”

She looks to Akutagawa for the answer. Akutagawa has no interest in helping someone who can’t figure out whether to tell the truth or lie to someone who recognizes him, so he remains silent. The pause is awkward enough that she has to say something or they’ll be even more suspicious, which comes out as a stumbled, “Um, Senpai and I… erm…”

“Don’t push yourself too hard.” Tsushima smiles, and the sight of him turning that smile on someone else makes Akutagawa’s stomach churn. “Akutagawa already told me what he does for a living, so you don’t need to worry about a cover story. A friend of his is a friend of mine.”

“Don’t coddle her.” Akutagawa turns his glare back on Higuchi, who flinches away. Good. “You should be able to come up with a convincing cover story at any moment. An enemy would have easily seen through that garbage and killed you where you stand-”

“Akutagawa.” Tsushima sounds a little more like Dazai than usual, though Dazai’s scoldings would have been much more violent. “Stop that.”

It’s too ingrained in Akutagawa to obey any Dazai’s orders to refuse. He shuts his mouth.

“Sorry about this.” Tsushima pats the dumbfounded Higuchi’s shoulder. “We’ll talk later about turning into our teachers. I’ll let you get back to work.”

Dazai was a perfect teacher, it’s Akutagawa who was the poor student… is not something he can say in front of Tsushima; he certainly can’t imply that Tsushima deserved his treatment by his own teachers. Even when Tsushima leaves, Akutagawa stays silent for the rest of the mission.