nealuchi | going on forever

Title: going on forever
Fandom: Bungou to Alchemist
Character(s): Atsushi
Pairing(s): Atsushi/Atsushi
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Smut
Word Count: 500
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Summary: The Atsushis get a chance to hold each other, for the first and only time.
Notes:

The Taint disintegrates, and outer Atsushi collapses. Inner Atsushi is there to catch him before he hits the ground.

“Is he okay?” Yoshikawa asks.

“Fine. Just passed out.” Inner Atsushi cradles his other half in his arms, and glares at Yoshikawa when he tries to approach. “Leave us.”

“But-”

Yakumo sets a hand on Yoshikawa’s shoulder. “We should leave them alone,” he says, gently. “They won’t have very many times to hold each other.”

Together, Ranpo and Yakumo steer Yoshikawa away. Atsushi’s attention is already off them, because his other half is beginning to stir.

“…My glasses…”

“They’re on your face,” inner Atsushi says. His voice almost doesn’t waver.

Outer Atsushi’s hand lifts, and misses his glasses to rest on inner Atsushi’s cheek. “You saved me.”

“Of course I did.” It’s harder, somehow, to call his other half an idiot than it was a few minutes ago. As hard as it would be to pull away. “I don’t want to deal with the rest of those idiots. That’s your job.”

“Ha… is that why.” Outer Atsushi smiles. “I wanted to meet you, but I never thought that - that I could ever touch you like this.”

“I don’t feel any different from you,” inner Atsushi says, and holds the other even closer to him. When outer Atsushi loops his arms around inner Atsushi’s neck to pull him down, their lips meet in the middle.

There is not much talking after that. Words can be shared later, but touch is fleeting and precious. The taste of Atsushi’s lips, the way outer Atsushi’s hands clutch at the other’s shirt when he’s lowered onto the grass - these are things they commit to memory, because they both know they may never feel them again.

There’s no time to take things slowly. But then, they don’t have to learn each other’s bodies. Atsushi knows what makes Atsushi keen with pleasure, and all there is to do is to do it.

Outer Atsushi with hands over inner Atsushi’s chest and lips on his ear: thank you for saving me. Thank you for taking care of me, all this time. Let me take care of you too.

Inner Atsushi with teeth against outer Atsushi’s neck and hands smoothing below his stomach: you aren’t pathetic. You aren’t a burden. You’re mine, and I will keep you safe.

Both wrapped up in each other, pressed against each other, blind and deaf to anything but each other: you are me, I am you, and I need you here with me. Stay with me, stay-

Atsushi opens his eyes in the library. Some of his memories from inside the book are hazy, but his body still tingles with the warmth of his other half holding him close.

“Atsushi!” Yoshikawa, fretting and instantly in his space. “How are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere?”

He tries to smile reassuringly. “I feel fine, it doesn’t hurt at all. Please don’t worry about me.” He rubs his neck, passing over a fresh mark of teeth.