Catcall

[misheard]

Title: Catcall
Fandom: Fate/Grand Order
Character(s): Merlin, Ryouma, Oryou, Drake
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 200
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Flirting with the enemy. And the ally.
Notes:

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On the streets of Egota, a yakuza member lets out a wolf whistle. “Why don’t you bombshells quit fighting and join me for some fun, huh?”

Francis Drake rolls her eyes as she lines up her next shot. (Critical star rate: down!)

“Humans are so stupid,” Oryou says. “Are you sure I can’t eat him?” (Critical star rate: down!)

“Why thank you,” Merlin says, eyelashes lowered. “Shall I drown you in a sea of ecstasy?” (Critical star rate: up??)

“No, you can’t - eh, you’re not serious, are you?” Ryouma asks, momentarily distracted from his usual task of keeping Oryou from eating everyone.

“I’m always serious!” Merlin says, with a grin that says exactly the opposite. “If it’s just a matter of incapacitating somone, then I can do that just as well in bed, and have more fun in the process. I’ll prove it to you sometime, if you like~”

Ryouma splutters, trying to come up with something to say for several seconds and ending up with, “My wife is right here?”

“She can join us!”

“I’ll eat him,” Oryou says. “Then he won’t bother you, Ryouma.”

Drake snorts. “Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where he’s been.”