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Gifts and Toys
Title: Gifts and Toys
Fandom: Fate/stay night + Fate/Zero
Character(s): Shinji, Zero Lancer, Issei
Pairing(s): Issei/Zero Lancer
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 540
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Shinji needs help picking out Issei's birthday present.
Notes: Kink Bingo, sex toys (non-penetrating). Shinji, if you hit on Diarmuid Issei will murder you.
Issei stops and stares. "Oh don't tell me we're actually shopping at the sex store for my birthday present."
Confused, Lancer looks between the store's neon sign, Issei, and the one who'd brought them out here. "What is...?"
Shinji grins. "We are actually shopping at the sex store for your birthday present. Unless you don't want anything?"
"I don't want anything." Issei turns on his heel and walks off.
Lancer moves to follow him, but Shinji clears his throat loudly. "He's just embarrassed. He'll be grateful for his gift once he uses it. Now help me pick it out."
"I should follow Ryudo-dono." Still, Lancer hesitates. "Why do you need my help?"
"Because I'm not the one who's fucking him, how should I know what he likes?" Shinji gives Lancer an expression that clearly reads 'duh'. "And there's no way that I'd want to change that, so I need you to give me advice."
"That makes... sense, but I'm not certain I know much about the wares here."
"I'll explain them, don't worry about a thing." Shinji heads inside, and Lancer reluctantly follows.
The store is nicely-lit, clean, and well-organized. It could sell any kind of wares; it just happens to sell handcuffs, dildos, and vibrators. While Lancer stares at the unfamiliar products, Shinji is mumbling to himself. "Don't want to encourage him to spend too much time on his own, that rules out the masturbation sleeves, don't see why he'd need a dildo or harness when you both have functioning dicks... Vibrators."
He picks up a box containing a purple... product. Wand, according to the box. "Vibrators are good for extra stimulation. You only have two hands, and vibrators can go anywhere. There's remote control versions too, if you want to just sit back and torture him mercilessly..." Shinji smirks.
Lancer feels like his ears are burning. "Th...this is his gift and not mine."
"The good kind of torture. I promise." Shinji puts the box back and moves on. "Handcuffs are a maybe, blindfolds... I don't have to explain to you that when you can't see a thing your other senses get sharper, right?"
"I'm aware of that." Lancer picks up a box at random. "What is a 'cock ring'?"
"It's what it sounds like. You put it around your dick and it keeps you from coming too quickly, and it's more intense when you take it off. But I'm sure coming too quickly isn't a problem for you, huh, Lancer?"
He's about to say something when somebody tugs hard on his arm. "...Ryudo-dono? I-I apologize, I was just-"
"Hello, Diarmuid." Issei is blushing, which doesn't surprise Lancer at all. What does surprise him is that in his other hand he's holding a box that he hands off to Shinji before Lancer can get a good look at it. "Buy me this. We're leaving."
This time when Issei leaves, Lancer follows him. "Master, what...?"
"You'll see." Issei ducks his face as if that would hide how red he is. "If you would like to know, I suppose I can give you a hint..."
Lancer nods.
"I went for the box set," Issei says.
That tells Lancer absolutely nothing, yet makes him look forward to Issei's birthday all the more.
Fandom: Fate/stay night + Fate/Zero
Character(s): Shinji, Zero Lancer, Issei
Pairing(s): Issei/Zero Lancer
Genre: Humor
Word Count: 540
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Shinji needs help picking out Issei's birthday present.
Notes: Kink Bingo, sex toys (non-penetrating). Shinji, if you hit on Diarmuid Issei will murder you.
Issei stops and stares. "Oh don't tell me we're actually shopping at the sex store for my birthday present."
Confused, Lancer looks between the store's neon sign, Issei, and the one who'd brought them out here. "What is...?"
Shinji grins. "We are actually shopping at the sex store for your birthday present. Unless you don't want anything?"
"I don't want anything." Issei turns on his heel and walks off.
Lancer moves to follow him, but Shinji clears his throat loudly. "He's just embarrassed. He'll be grateful for his gift once he uses it. Now help me pick it out."
"I should follow Ryudo-dono." Still, Lancer hesitates. "Why do you need my help?"
"Because I'm not the one who's fucking him, how should I know what he likes?" Shinji gives Lancer an expression that clearly reads 'duh'. "And there's no way that I'd want to change that, so I need you to give me advice."
"That makes... sense, but I'm not certain I know much about the wares here."
"I'll explain them, don't worry about a thing." Shinji heads inside, and Lancer reluctantly follows.
The store is nicely-lit, clean, and well-organized. It could sell any kind of wares; it just happens to sell handcuffs, dildos, and vibrators. While Lancer stares at the unfamiliar products, Shinji is mumbling to himself. "Don't want to encourage him to spend too much time on his own, that rules out the masturbation sleeves, don't see why he'd need a dildo or harness when you both have functioning dicks... Vibrators."
He picks up a box containing a purple... product. Wand, according to the box. "Vibrators are good for extra stimulation. You only have two hands, and vibrators can go anywhere. There's remote control versions too, if you want to just sit back and torture him mercilessly..." Shinji smirks.
Lancer feels like his ears are burning. "Th...this is his gift and not mine."
"The good kind of torture. I promise." Shinji puts the box back and moves on. "Handcuffs are a maybe, blindfolds... I don't have to explain to you that when you can't see a thing your other senses get sharper, right?"
"I'm aware of that." Lancer picks up a box at random. "What is a 'cock ring'?"
"It's what it sounds like. You put it around your dick and it keeps you from coming too quickly, and it's more intense when you take it off. But I'm sure coming too quickly isn't a problem for you, huh, Lancer?"
He's about to say something when somebody tugs hard on his arm. "...Ryudo-dono? I-I apologize, I was just-"
"Hello, Diarmuid." Issei is blushing, which doesn't surprise Lancer at all. What does surprise him is that in his other hand he's holding a box that he hands off to Shinji before Lancer can get a good look at it. "Buy me this. We're leaving."
This time when Issei leaves, Lancer follows him. "Master, what...?"
"You'll see." Issei ducks his face as if that would hide how red he is. "If you would like to know, I suppose I can give you a hint..."
Lancer nods.
"I went for the box set," Issei says.
That tells Lancer absolutely nothing, yet makes him look forward to Issei's birthday all the more.